I remember the first time I mentioned this to my friends from a church in Northern Indiana. The look on their faces was priceless- as though I had just informed them that our new church in Bloomington was a part of the mafia. At once, I explained to them the definition of fight club and they seemed a bit relieved but not totally convinced because, again, this awesome church that we have found actually has groups called ‘Fight Clubs.’ I then began to tell many different people about my fight club and how two or three people of the same gender meet weekly and talk about life and more importantly, our deepest sins. Then I had a person mention to me that it was like an accountability group. That’s when I knew I still wasn’t explaining this very important part of my life exactly right.

My whole life I was completely self-reliant. I never had to tell anyone anything or ask for help because I knew I could do it myself- and probably better than anyone I asked. I always put up a front and was only truly transparent with my husband. Once upon a time, I met two amazing women here in Bloomington and they cut me to the core-in a good way. Honestly, I didn’t know these ladies very well and I wasn’t even sure that we would all eventually be friends but I was the new girl and I had to find some people to hang out with somehow.

These ladies and I would meet every week and attempt to do fight club. I must say it was a little rough at first-when you barely know the two people sitting with you in the Pourhouse Café basement things are bound to get a little awkward, but I continued to go. What I found when I began to see these ladies week after week was that I could say truly anything and usually they could relate, and if they couldn’t, they tried to understand. I had finally found people I could really confide in and they in me. They began to know everything about me and I actually liked it. I had gained two amazing friends.

When we get together for fight club we don’t punch each other (usually), we fight sin. We confess our sins to God and to these select people and then we dive into scriptures to see what the Lord says about our sin. We remind each other of the character of God and continue to lift each other up throughout the week. I love these women so much that I want them to be able to talk about their sin and to not keep it hidden. I want them to share what is on their heart because what burdens them, burdens me too. I want them to continue to grow in their relationship with the Lord because they are incredibly important to me. We speak with grace but not favor. We don’t condemn but we encourage. These ladies have seen me in the depths and then on fire. They have seen me struggle and they have seen me find hope. Fight club is more than an accountability group, we walk with the Lord together with hope and encouragement. I never feel as though I will be judged or looked down upon because we are in this together; fighting together because I’m just as broken as the women sitting next to me. We do life together-both good and bad.  You see, I love my fight club and they are my family.

I’ve told many people who have asked me about our experience at Redeemer that I love our church. When they ask me why, I have so many reasons I don’t know where to start and usually end up a bit tongue-tied. But one thing I always mention is Redeemer Kids.

I love Redeemer Kids! In thinking how to describe what Redeemer Kids does, I hesitate to call it our “kids program” – that doesn’t do it justice. I prefer to call it our “kids community”. Because it’s so much more than a Sunday morning program for kids. It’s an anchor in the lives of my children; it’s a relationship. It’s a place where my children pray, learn about their Savior and serve God alongside their peers.  And, Redeemer Kids is made up of so much more than just the children of our church. It also includes amazing adults who put time, effort and love into my kids. These people aren’t just their “Sunday School teachers” they are their friends. Many of them spend time with our family socially. They are invested. Not just on Sunday morning but all the time.  Through the love and faith of such people, my children see Jesus. As a parent, I couldn’t ask for more.

One of my favorite questions to ask when I meet someone new at Redeemer is “What brought you to Redeemer?”  We all have a story to tell.  We all have a reason for why we are here.  I am no different.  However, when someone asked me that question during one of my first visits at Redeemer, I was tongue-tied.  I just stared at the person in fear.  Finally, I said, “I could write a master’s thesis of why I am here”.  My husband rescued me from the conversation and affirmed that I could write a thesis on why we were there and then he changed the subject.  I will not write a thesis in this blog, but I will tell you my story.

God has used the church in my life to develop his relationship with me.  I accepted him as Lord and Savior in a small Baptist church at the age of nine.  I grew in an intimate love relationship with him while attending a large Christian church in my 20’s.  I over served him in a middle-sized Christian church in my 30’s, and most recently, I under served him in a small Christian church in my 40’s.  God has used all of these church experiences (big, small, and middle sized) to grow me and change me.  I am thankful for each experience.  So why Redeemer?  Why now?

I knew I was in trouble when at the altar at my former church my heart cried out in prayer “Save me from the church!”  I was weeping uncontrollably as I passionately prayed these words.  Please notice, I did not pray this church, I prayed the church.  Somehow, I intuitively knew the church was killing me spiritually.  How could this be?  How could the church, which God has used to grow me up in him, be killing me?  The answer is the gospel, or I should say the lack of the gospel.

David Kinnaman wrote a book entitled “You Lost Me” that describes why young people are leaving the church.  In the book, he describes a group he calls Exiles.  Some characteristics of the Exiles include that they:

• Want to find a way to follow Jesus that connects with the world they live in
• See God more at work outside the church than inside, and want to be a part of that
• Want to help the church change it’s priorities to be what Jesus intended it to be
• Find the institutional church a difficult place to live out faith
• Feel Christian community is important and want to do more than get together once a week for worship
• Feel stuck between comfortable faith and the life God wants for them

The characteristics he describes, describe the way I feel.  I am an exile.  I am called to go to the community (Matt 28: 19) and my former churches were not supporting me with that mission.

Redeemer encourages their members to go out to the community on a mission with God.  I once asked my youngest son while attending our former church, how is the church relevant to the community?  He could not come up with an answer.  He mentioned a prayer ministry the church had for the homeless, but that was all he could think of.  I could not come up with anything either.  I want to be part of a community of believers that are relevant to the community.  I do not want to sit in a church pew and wonder why the community is not coming to me.  I want to go.  I want to be encouraged to go.

Redeemer focuses on the gospel.  It is frightening to me that, in over 38 years of being in the church, the gospel was not preached to me on a regular basis.  The majority of sermons over the past 38 years have been topical with scripture used as a reference.  The extent of the gospel message came at the end of the service when the pastor gave a quick come to Jesus synopsis.  I used to joke with my kids, if you want someone to know Jesus, do not bring them to church.  No wonder I was dying!  I was starving for the gospel!

This is a new church chapter in my life, in which I am confident God will use to grow me further in Him.  I am looking forward to the journey and all the new people he will put in my path.  I still cry at the altar on Sunday mornings, but now it’s tears of joy for what Christ has done for me.  It’s tears shed that understand the magnitude of the gospel in my life and how dependent I am on it.  I am ready to go.  Let us go out together on mission with God.

Since I’ve joined Redeemer Church in Bloomington, the idea of worship, and worshiping, has grown tremendously in my heart and my life. I’ve gone from thinking of worship as singing on Sunday mornings to the realization that worship in the truest sense is every part of our lives. It is the way we live in response to the gospel and God’s endless gift of undeserved mercy and grace in our lives.

As humans we are wired to worship. We worship all sorts of things, shown by where we give our attention, money, and time. Unfortunately, I’ve found that my worship is not always directed towards God, but to the things of this world that I find appealing or pleasing (things that, if used in rightful worship towards God, aren’t bad things at all). Through involvement in gospel-centered community, my worship has focused on Christ and the endless love and abundant grace He has given me. I have learned that the gospel calls for my worship, causing an internal change that I cannot make without Him and that only comes as I begin to be transformed by Him.

Being a part of Redeemer Bloomington, being involved in the loving and Gospel centered community that it offers in this city, has provided a focus on the one thing that truly deserves it, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This is not to say I am without struggle, but I have found that the Gospel is changing my worship, and my participation and involvement in Redeemer strengthens this.  I am reminded of the Gospel daily, which I had never experienced before. I truly appreciate my brothers and sisters in Christ preaching the gospel to me. In this multi generational congregation, I have been able to learn from the experiences of those both older and younger than myself, and how the gospel speaks to all of us in our different life stages.

Worshiping at and with Redeemer has been an amazing experience for me. I plan to continue growing with the people here at Redeemer and learning more of what it means to worship God, fully bringing him the glory that He deserves and that I could never repay without Christ’s atoning sacrifice, as I continue to learn and understand the Gospel.

Being a part of the Redeemer Kids team has been such a blessing in my life, even in the few weeks that I have been able to be in the classrooms. As a music education major, I jumped on the opportunity to be a teacher in the Redeemer Kids classrooms to see if teaching was something I really wanted to do with the rest of my life. I have been able to be in the elementary age classroom and the nursery as a lead teacher and as a helping teacher. The curriculum has always been so well prepared by other members of Redeemer and has facilitated great questioning from the kids. It has been so inspiring to see kids get so excited about learning about Jesus and how they are learning together. I have grown so much by seeing how my own education in teaching can be used to glorify God, by teaching the kids at Redeemer the gospel and seeing them learn. And, in line with the core values of Redeemer, the Redeemer Kids Team is developing into a beautiful community that cares about all the children in Redeemer and seeks to find the best ways to teach them. I have also seen how the kids are learning how to create their own communities. All the kids are so excited to see each other on Sunday morning and their openness to share during prayer time. Recently, a boy in class shared about his fear of being forgotten by his friends, and the other kids in the class prayed for him and to not be scared of bullies. It is so encouraging to see the Gospel being lived out at all stages of life. I am so excited to continue to serve on this team and see the fruit of the children’s ministry.